Twenty-five families walked down the steps of Keller Auditorium on a warm, summer-like evening, joined by caregivers from UConn Health. What brought them together was the love and caring they shared for individuals they had lost.

The families were grieving and memorializing members who had died while in palliative and hospice care. The providers, nurses and physicians, were remembering their patients. These providers, like the family members who joined them, were seeking closure and a final, communal way of showing their respect and fondness for those patients.

“Having a serious illness is a very personal matter, and one that affects the entire family,” noted Dr. Joanne Kuntz, director of palliative care services at UConn Health. “The trust that patients and their families place in us to care for those they hold most dear is not something that we take lightly. We often develop deeply personal relationships in our role as care providers – particularly at the end of life, when we find ourselves bearing witness to sacred moments shared between a husband and wife, mother and child, sister and brother. We want these families to know that the power of those moments is not lost on us, and we gather to honor them and thank them for entrusting us with their care”.

Begun three decades ago in children’s hospitals, the movement to set aside a day each year to bring caregivers and families together to jointly celebrate the lives of those who have died has gained momentum in adult hospitals. This year’s Service of Remembrance was the first for the palliative medicine and supportive care team at UConn Health.

Founded by Kuntz in 2012, the palliative care program provides an extra layer of support to hospitalized patients with serious and life-threatening illness and their families. The event capped months of planning by various members of the palliative care team. More than 300 families representing former patients of the palliative care program since its inception were invited to be part of the memorial service.

“I want to let you know the Service of Remembrance brought comfort to me during this difficult time,” said Pat McEvila, one of the family members participating in the Remembrance. “Seeing and listening to [nurse] Lindsay’s reflection was very emotional. She was Sara’s nurse and my shoulder to cry on during Sara’s last few days, and will always have a special place in my heart.”

Lyndsay Escajeda, who works in the Intensive Care Unit, remembers, “I grew to love Sara over those last few days of her life, even though she could not speak and maybe couldn’t even understand me. But I learned about her through the eyes of those who loved her, especially her mother and her son, and I grew to love and admire her family. They came close to my heart and I was saddened that I was not there when Sara passed. The ceremony allowed me to see them again, to say to them how much they meant to me, and to find closure in our mutual loss.”

Lizzie Borje, also a nurse, said the ceremony was “sensitive, reassuring, and beautiful. It helped me feel so much closure, and it was wonderful to hear from patient families I had worked with so closely.”

Dr. Patrick Coll, associate director of the Center on Aging at UConn Health, said, ”The more we learn about a good death, the more we recognize the value of personal relationships and interconnectedness that allows the grief and the joy of a loved one’s death to be shared. And we have learned, too, about how important it is for caregivers to mourn. For too long, we have not fully understood the impact that losing a patient has on the providers. The Service of Remembrance does this, but it does more: It reconnects family and provider in powerful ways.”

The centerpiece of the ceremony came when the names of those who had died were read out. With each name, the assembly watched as photographs of the deceased were projected with their family members, their pets, and their golf clubs – full of life, exactly as they would have wished to be remembered.