{"id":162328,"date":"2020-07-27T07:33:46","date_gmt":"2020-07-27T11:33:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/?p=162328"},"modified":"2020-07-21T14:40:48","modified_gmt":"2020-07-21T18:40:48","slug":"uconn-magazine-dancing-sunday-dont","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/2020\/07\/uconn-magazine-dancing-sunday-dont\/","title":{"rendered":"UConn Magazine: Dancing on a Sunday? Don\u2019t Do That!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Of course, I\u2019m not talking about the big crimes. Going out and robbing a bank would not be exercising appropriate social distancing. And what\u2019s the point of grand theft auto when there\u2019s no place to go? But take a cruise through the United States Code and the Code of Federal Regulations and you\u2019ll find thousands and thousands of little things that can relieve a bit of boredom and land you in federal prison. If you\u2019re having a hard time finding them, don\u2019t worry \u2014 I do it for you daily on my Twitter feed @CrimeADay<\/a>, where I\u2019ve been counting and posting all the federal crimes on the books every day since 2014. That\u2019s how I know you can\u2019t sell a barrel with an oversized bulge. Shoot a fish from an airplane? Can\u2019t do it. Pretend to be a member of the 4-H club? Off limits. Even mailing a mongoose to someone is a federal crime, no matter how generous your intentions may be.<\/p>\n

Look, obviously you should never commit any crimes no matter how silly. So if I haven\u2019t been clear: don\u2019t commit crimes (they\u2019re making me say that). But what\u2019s a bored member of UConn nation to do in these strange times? Let\u2019s start in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

During these fresh-food-challenged times, we\u2019ve all been eating noodles like we did when we were in college. They\u2019re cheap and delicious and they\u2019re in the pantry. Be careful though. If your noodles don\u2019t meet federal specifications you may have to come up with money for a lawyer like me to defend you. For spaghetti, that means you can\u2019t go around making noodles with a diameter of more than .11 inches. Or say you\u2019re more of a macaroni and cheese kind of person. Well, your noodles had better be under .27 inches to keep the feds away. Naturally, you\u2019re wondering: What about ramen? Well, so far, the government is willing to look the other way on that. Plus, federal noodle crimes are only crimes if you\u2019re selling or distributing illicit noodles. Any good noodle lawyer will tell you that.<\/p>\n

Read on for more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mike Chase \u201911 JD, author of the wildly popular @CrimeADay Twitter account, treats UConn Nation to exclusive diabolical drawings and criminally funny ruminatings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":58,"featured_media":162329,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","wds_primary_category":0,"wds_primary_series":0,"wds_primary_attribution":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2225],"tags":[],"magazine-issues":[],"coauthors":[117],"class_list":["post-162328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uconn-storrs"],"pp_statuses_selecting_workflow":false,"pp_workflow_action":"current","pp_status_selection":"publish","acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-04-13 10:36:34","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/users\/58"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=162328"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":162331,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162328\/revisions\/162331"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/media\/162329"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=162328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=162328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=162328"},{"taxonomy":"magazine-issue","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/magazine-issues?post=162328"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=162328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}