![\"Alexa](\"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/101123-AlexaUdellTransgenderPhotoProject-1-300x200.jpg\")
It’s a project Udell \u2013 who describes herself as a psychological sciences major with a cognitive science minor and a co-curricular focus in photography – conceived last Valentine\u2019s Day when she dressed in pink, had her makeup done, and did a photoshoot, this time as a subject.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was so euphoric and made me feel so feminine in a way that I hadn\u2019t really ever experienced before,\u201d she says. \u201cHaving a formal photo shoot made me feel beautiful and more importantly made me feel affirmed. It was then I thought about doing a project that would bring that same feeling to a bunch of different people at once.\u201d<\/p>\n
While sharing the same opportunity was her first thought, her next was the realization of how important it is to highlight the individualism of people in the trans community \u2013 differences in the way people describe themselves, how they project that image to the world, what pronouns they choose, among so many other things \u2013 so those on the outside can see their diversity.<\/p>\n
Her project, \u201cTrans-Photography: Gender Euphoria and Expression Through Portraiture,\u201d<\/a> funded by an IDEA Grant<\/a> through the Office of Undergraduate Research<\/a>, puts Udell behind the camera to photograph members of the trans community at UConn and beyond. It will culminate with a gallery show and artist talk in the spring, along with a presentation at the Spring Frontiers in Undergraduate Research Exhibition<\/a> in April.<\/p>\n \u2018Self-image is a tricky thing\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n Remi Dupuis \u201926 (CLAS) says he\u2019s been able to live his authentic self for a while now, but even still there are some family photos he wouldn\u2019t want many people to see.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you\u2019re being photographed as yourself in the light that you want to be shown in by a photographer who is trans and who understands that experience and wants to help you in every way, that\u2019s so different. Family photographs can be fine if you feel comfortable in your skin, but that\u2019s not always the case,\u201d Dupuis says. \u201cSo, yeah, there are photographs of me and my family that I wouldn\u2019t want shown to the public. Self-image is a tricky thing with all the other factors that go into the trans experience. It\u2019s lovely when you get to sort of control your own image in a way that makes you feel best.\u201d<\/p>\n One recent fall day in the shade garden behind the William Benton Museum of Art, Dupuis and Udell talked about what Dupuis might want for his upcoming photo shoot.<\/p>\n \u201cSomething just like this,\u201d he says, gesturing to nature around him and to his outfit picked out in case the meeting resulted in some photos, which it did.<\/p>\n Dupuis says trans people can be represented in the media in any number of ways, affecting other\u2019s judgments and observations. For a project like Udell\u2019s to validate, celebrate, and educate others about the trans community is a significant thing.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s so important for trans bodies to be celebrated and recognized as normal because there\u2019s a lot of misinformation out there,\u201d he says. \u201cIt\u2019s just really cool to get the representation from an authentic point of view, to see people enjoying being themselves and not having to worry so much about what other people think. That\u2019s our everyday existence and it\u2019s hard.\u201d<\/p>\n Udell put out a survey early this semester seeking trans people who would like to be part of her project. She hoped for 10, but from that call received 25 responses, with 17 of those moving forward with photo shoots, which are being arranged now.<\/p>\n She says that as she\u2019s contacting people, she\u2019s interviewing them to take note of individualized styles, personal interests, potential locations for the photo shoot, and best time of year, so she can work with them to customize an appointment.<\/p>\n One friend, she explains, celebrated their 21st birthday recently and wanted to document their excitement. With balloons, streamers, and other inexpensive decorations in the background, they did the photo shoot in the friend\u2019s dorm room.<\/p>\n For another friend who wanted photos of their new red snowsuit, out to the snow-dusted backroads of northeastern Connecticut they went early this year.<\/p>\n \u201cI love the way the roads in New England look when they\u2019re all wet,\u201d Udell says. \u201cWe just went out to Mansfield Hollow. Around here, there are just so many good settings.\u201d<\/p>\n Shared struggles bring connection<\/strong><\/p>\n In addition to helping her subjects settle on outfits, locations, and props, Udell says she\u2019s careful to work with the person to find a flattering way to pose \u2013 because she knows there are things about a person\u2019s body that might not be the most flattering or might not help project the masculinity or femininity they feel.<\/p>\n She acknowledges she\u2019s better at posing females because over the last few years she\u2019s studied her favorite social media influencers and how they move their hands, flip their hair, tilt their head, or cross their legs. Simply, she\u2019s modeled herself after those who gave her gender envy and mirrored their mannerisms.<\/p>\n \u201cThe thing people don\u2019t realize about being trans is that you have to learn how to express yourself and do everything manually,\u201d she explains. \u201cIf you were socialized as a different gender than what\u2019s affirming, you have to learn it and figure it out. It\u2019s a lot for someone, never mind when they\u2019re having their picture taken.\u201d<\/p>\n But with that shared struggle, Udell connects with her subjects to carry them through what otherwise could be an unnerving or uncomfortable experience.<\/p>\n Dupuis says he would think twice about doing a formalized photo shoot with someone who isn\u2019t trans. He says he\u2019d have to get to know that person before committing to make sure they\u2019re a good ally for the LGBTQ+ community.<\/p>\n![\"Remi](\"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/101123-AlexaUdellTransgenderPhotoProject-3-300x200.jpg\")
![\u201cTrans-Photography: Gender Euphoria and Expression Through Portraiture,\u201d<\/a> funded by an](\"https:\/\/ugradresearch.uconn.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/323\/2023\/05\/Udell-Bio.jpg\"){kind=link}