{"id":206901,"date":"2011-06-08T09:45:13","date_gmt":"2011-06-08T13:45:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/?p=206901"},"modified":"2023-11-13T09:50:22","modified_gmt":"2023-11-13T14:50:22","slug":"the-parent-app-a-neag-alums-guide-to-better-moms-and-dads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/2011\/06\/the-parent-app-a-neag-alums-guide-to-better-moms-and-dads\/","title":{"rendered":"The Parent App: A Neag Alum\u2019s Guide to Better Moms and Dads"},"content":{"rendered":"

In a world of \u201ctiger moms,\u201d timid moms and \u201chelicopter parents,\u201d a Neag School alumnus offers a thoughtful and proven middle ground.\u00a0 Thomas McIntyre, who earned his Ph.D. in Special Education from the\u00a0Neag School<\/a>\u00a0in 1981, dispenses advice to teachers and parents of youngsters with behavior challenges through his popular website, BehaviorAdvisor.com.\u00a0 The site offers a wide range of helpful materials for parents, teachers and others on topics related to positive and effective ways to help kids make better behavior choices.<\/p>\n

McIntyre recently entered another realm, creating an iPhone\/iPad\/iTouch app titled \u201cPositive Parenting Practices\u201d (available at iTunes) in which he outlines what he calls \u201csound, research-based principles and practices that are translated into everyday language.\u201d The app (and his\u00a0BehaviorAdvisor.com<\/a>) expands parents\u2019 knowledge of behavior change principles and the repertoire of practices for guiding children and youth toward self-regulated appropriate actions.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhile many styles of parenting can create good kids,\u201d McIntyre says, \u201cwe now know how to achieve our goals more quickly and completely.\u00a0 The most effective approach motivates children in positive and respectful ways, rather than fear of punishment. That latter style fails to promote inner control of one\u2019s behavior or teach what to do in situations.\u201d<\/p>\n

McIntyre\u2019s approach stresses that a positive outcome is accomplished by showing a child that certain choices are in his or her best interest, rather than simply exerting adult dominance. \u201cPunitive strategies,\u201d he says, \u201close their impact as kids grow older. We want our youngsters to continue to view us as a trusted source of support. During times of disagreement, if that trust bond has been built, it makes mutually agreeable resolutions<\/strong>\u00a0much easier.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stresses that parents are not \u201csoft\u201d on discipline when they\u2019re smart on child management. Adults can show love, concern and caring in ways that project the image of wise elder and mentor-parent.<\/p>\n

Much of McIntyre\u2019s work was shaped at the Neag School with Melvin Reich and the late A.J. Pappanikou, longtime professors of Special Education. \u201cIt\u2019s human nature to want to perform at your best for those individuals whom you respect and admire,\u201d McIntyre says. \u201cBoth of my mentors were knowledgeable, big-hearted souls who led by example, and kept reminding us that \u2018it\u2019s all about the kids,\u2019 in this case, youngsters with severe emotional and behavioral disorders.\u201d For McIntyre, the acquired knowledge and skill bases in behavior change principles and practices have been combined with the mentor strategies from his parents and professors that he strives to emulate.<\/p>\n

That approach, combining parental love with a knowledge base on effective parenting, is at the heart of McIntyre\u2019s website writings, podcasts and apps. The next phase of his \u201cPositive Parenting Practices\u201d app series will address the effective phrasing of directions, criticism and praise. He calls it \u201cverbal Aikido.\u201d Aikido is a martial arts form that stresses concern for the well-being of the other person during a struggle.<\/p>\n

Above all, McIntyre stresses, \u201cKids are junior citizens who are learning how to operate effectively in this world. They make mistakes. If they goof up, the thought that should arise in the parents\u2019 minds is, \u2018How can I respond in a manner that convinces my child(ren), at the level of the heart, that another way is better than the present one?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

In McIntyre\u2019s view, \u201cIt is our parental obligation to our children (and our children\u2019s children) to be constantly on the watch for better ways to lead them to a bright future. That goal can now be reached more quickly by parenting smarter, not harder.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a world of \u201ctiger moms,\u201d timid moms and \u201chelicopter parents,\u201d a Neag School alumnus offers a thoughtful and proven middle ground.\u00a0 Thomas McIntyre, who earned his Ph.D. in Special Education from the\u00a0Neag School\u00a0in 1981, dispenses advice to teachers and parents of youngsters with behavior challenges through his popular website, BehaviorAdvisor.com.\u00a0 The site offers a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":190,"featured_media":206902,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","wds_primary_category":0,"wds_primary_series":0,"wds_primary_attribution":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[147,2428,1855],"tags":[],"magazine-issues":[],"coauthors":[2455],"class_list":["post-206901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-alumni","category-educational-psychology","category-neag"],"pp_statuses_selecting_workflow":false,"pp_workflow_action":"current","pp_status_selection":"publish","acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-06-01 03:47:13","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/users\/190"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=206901"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206901\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":206903,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206901\/revisions\/206903"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/media\/206902"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=206901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=206901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=206901"},{"taxonomy":"magazine-issue","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/magazine-issues?post=206901"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=206901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}