{"id":60085,"date":"2012-05-14T09:23:06","date_gmt":"2012-05-14T13:23:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/?p=60085"},"modified":"2012-05-18T09:11:31","modified_gmt":"2012-05-18T13:11:31","slug":"the-provost-academical","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/2012\/05\/the-provost-academical\/","title":{"rendered":"The Provost Academical"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Jeremy<\/a>
Jeremy Teitelbaum, dean of CLAS.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Jeremy Teitelbaum<\/a>, dean of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences<\/a>, is a guest contributor to UConn Today. His posts appear on Mondays. For his previous posts, click here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

I composed this pastiche of Gilbert and Sullivan\u2019s \u201cI am the very model of a modern major general\u201d in honor of Peter J. Nicholls, UConn\u2019s provost, who will step down from his position on June 30, and join the faculty of the Neag School of Education. Peter has been a model provost during his years at UConn, and it\u2019s been a pleasure working for him. Plus, he and I share some other interests<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The song was only one of the many tributes that Peter received at his retirement party on May 10. The lead was sung by Charles Eaton III, and the supporting parts were sung by Spencer Hamlin and Colin Reinhardt, all of UConn\u2019s School of Fine Arts.<\/p>\n

[yframe url=’http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xn_P-lxrju8&feature=youtu.be’]
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

The Provost Academical<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am the very model of a provost academical,
\nI\u2019ve policies, priorities, and metrics rather technical
\nI run the schools and colleges and keep the deans respectable
\nFrom Nursing, Law, and Pharmacy to Art and Science Liberal,<\/p>\n

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
\nI understand equations, both the simple<\/a> and quadratical<\/a>,
\nAbout binomial theorem<\/a> I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
\nWith many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m very good at teaching freshmen all about the calendar,
\nI\u2019ve traveled ’round the world to help make UConn more spectacular,
\nIn short with my priorities and metrics rather technical,
\nI am the very model of a provost academical.<\/p>\n

I know our mythic history, of Lobo, Moore, and Taurasi,
\nI follow all the games with very passionate intensity,
\nI wear the UConn colors in East Hartford each Fall Saturday,
\nand dream of cricket games and wish I had a nice hot cup of tea.<\/p>\n

I do my best to carry out the orders\u00a0 of our presidents,
\nPhil Austin, then old what\u2019s his name, then Austin and now Susan Herbst
\nI try to keep them happy and to satisfy requirements,
\nWhile striving to make sure that UConn doesn\u2019t go and jump the tracks,<\/p>\n

And now we are top 20 in the US News and World Report,
\nAnd I am stepping down in case some change might make us come up short;
\nYou see, with my priorities and metrics rather technical
\nI am the very model of a provost academical.<\/p>\n

I read a million emails and I sign a million documents,
\nI tell a million people \u201cno\u201d and very rarely tell them \u201cyes,\u201d
\nI keep my cool in dealing with all manner of unpleasantness,
\nLike personnel, and politics, the country\u2019s banks in near-collapse,<\/p>\n

I take the blame without complaint for things that cause unhappiness,
\nAnd pass the credit I deserve for six long years of great progress.
\nAnd now I\u2019m going back to be a member of the faculty,
\nWhere I can pass along the things I\u2019ve learned administratively.<\/p>\n

And if I see the higher-ups are acting irresponsibly,
\nYou\u2019ll find me as a candidate for member of the SEC,
\nBut still with my priorities and metrics rather technical,
\nI am the very model of a provost academical.<\/p>\n

Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan<\/em>
\nWords by W.S. Gilbert and Jeremy Teitelbaum<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The dean of CLAS offers an operatic version of the life and times of UConn\u2019s outgoing provost, Peter J. Nicholls.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":60110,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","wds_primary_category":0,"wds_primary_series":0,"wds_primary_attribution":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,70],"tags":[],"magazine-issues":[],"coauthors":[66],"class_list":["post-60085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-video"],"pp_statuses_selecting_workflow":false,"pp_workflow_action":"current","pp_status_selection":"publish","acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-06-01 19:28:36","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=60085"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60085\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":60320,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60085\/revisions\/60320"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/media\/60110"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=60085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=60085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=60085"},{"taxonomy":"magazine-issue","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/magazine-issues?post=60085"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/wp-rest\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=60085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}